"Youth comes but once in a lifetime." - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

At the end of December, I celebrated my 26th birthday. And it was a very nice birthday. Jared invited my family over and we all had pizza and cake :)

And I don't feel especially old or fearful of growing old. I have a wonderful life. I have an amazing husband and a beautiful son - whom I get to stay home with every day of the week. We just bought a house and I can't wait to fix it up and make it our own, plant a huge garden this spring, and just watch Holden grow up here.

But for some reason, I read that quote above, and it just struck me. It struck me how true it is. How I'm always looking forward to the next thing in life, planning ahead, mapping things out. And I rarely ever take time to just be wholly content with where I am. And I think I may be missing things because of it.

No matter what I do, time keeps moving forward. And it seems to be moving quicker and quicker. I never noticed that as much as I do now. With Holden. How fast he grows and changes!

Six months ago he had just mastered sitting up by himself. And now he's a little person. He walks and talks. He has a sense of humor. He gives kisses. He "reads" books. He can't sleep without his special Blankie. He knows he'd rather have applesauce than green beans. He knows the milk is in the fridge and that's where he goes when he wants some. And I can tell that he understands much of what I say to him.

And it amazes me. I can see phases of his growth beginning and ending. And I can physically see how fast time is going when I look at him.

And it struck me today that the "time" that's flying by when I watch Holden, isn't just Holden's time. It's my time, too.

It's not as noticeable. We don't change as quickly. But that's why it's deceptive.

Our time is flying by, too.

And that is what has affected me. Not the growing older. Everyone does. It's not an age which I specifically fear. But, I guess, the end of things.

And I know that's useless and ignorant. All things must come to an end. Babies grow up, youth fades, loved ones go.

It's useless to worry. And so I refuse. But that doesn't mean I have to look forward to it, either.

From now on, I will be praying for awareness and contentment of the present. Because it really is a wonderful present♥

26!

The Birthday girl and her cheesy Buddy :)

The pretty necklace that Megan made me! Crafty sister.....

My big card from Jared :)

Better than any present♥
12.29.09